Once you become a mother, you have a lot of responsibilities. The days are gone going out every week, having a night in with friends, setting off on a weekend away with friends. You kind of blocking yourself off from your friends that have no kids.
From “Sorry the smallest is sick at the moment” to “I’m so sorry our babysitter is away, I’d have to give it a miss”.
In all honesty, I don’t have many close friends. Most of them in fact live abroad. We chat a lot through Whatsapp but that’s all. My closest buddy lives nearly 3 hours away from where we live now. We work together,too.
I have to admit socialising is not my biggest strength. I try to make an effort and turn up at certain events. At the beginning of the year I signed up to social tennis in the local tennis club. Hubby knows I am the best at making up excuses not going to play tennis in the end. It’s on every Friday. Whether it’s too warm, too windy, it’s raining. It’s all listed in my head. But I think it has also got to do with the fact that it’s at the end of the week, the weekend is near and I just want “me time” in the evening time once the kids are in bed. I’d say I probably would jump at the opportunity if it was during the week.
The times I did go to social tennis, I enjoyed myself. There is no denying that. If you just drag yourself along, it’s generally when you have the best time. They make you welcome and you are trying to chat away but that’s about it. Most women in there are older than me. Nothing wrong with that of course but it wouldn’t click if you know what I mean. It will be the case of us doing chit chat every Friday night which is nice for a change. Sometimes it’s just nice to be out of the house.
Lately I decided to go down another route. As some of you may know, both my kids don’t speak any German. I know disgrace, but we’ll work on that. As for myself, I have no German connection whatsoever anymore. Just as mentioned above, all my German friends are living back in Germany. I can’t meet up with them. I feel like even losing my own native language. So that’s why I thought to put a stop to it and have a browse on Facebook for some German groups in and around Dublin. Social Media to the rescue. There has got to be something. And I found them. A lovely group of people.
Living in County Kildare and having a car, to travel around County Dublin is not a distance at all. You have so many opportunities and there is so much to do in and around for the kids. This group is mainly filled with German women who now live in Ireland with their kids, or moved to Ireland and had kids with their Irish partner. Bang on, right?
So for the end of the month we have set a play date for the kids. She has two kids as well and are around the same age as mine. She is also struggling a bit teaching her kids German. Hopefully this will get it going and we will be meeting up frequently. I have a few other mums in that group as well who are happy to meet up with the kids for a play date.
Blogging gave me some friends too. Even if it’s only virtual for now and we only get to meet whenever a blogging event is on in the UK. One of them funny enough is a girl living in the UK but she is actually German herself. What are the chances. She’s going to attend Blog On next week same as me. It will be lovely to catch up again. It’s been seven months.
Do you struggle socialising and making you new friends? What did you do to make it work?
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It’s hard in another country isn’t it? Haven’t heard of that group before.
I feel your pain. It’s a constant struggle on my end too. I joined Cuidiú groups and while I hate socialising, I’ve forced myself to go and have gotten to know a goodbye few people, even though it hasn’t resulted in full on friendships.